Beyond binary gender

Growing up, I thought there were only two genders.

I thought you could be a man or a woman.

And I thought that your gender (what you know and feel yourself to be) was almost always the same as the sex you were assigned at birth.

Over the last three decades, I’ve learned how wrong I was. There’s a huge, diverse gender spectrum. And it’s so, so much more interesting and beautiful than just men or women.

Gender isn’t binary

Sure, you can be a man, or a woman.

But those aren’t the only genders. You might be:

• non-binary,

• genderqueer,

• genderfluid,

• or a whole host of other gender identities.

Trans isn’t a gender

Being trans or cis isn’t a gender.

As my friend Max says, “trans isn’t my gender, trans is how I got here.”

What cisgender means

For example, if you’re a cisgender man:

• You know and feel yourself to be a man (that’s your gender identity).

• You were assigned male at birth (that’s your sex – although it’s not a simple binary of male versus female as many of us were taught).

Your gender is “on the same side as” the sex you were assigned at birth.

You’re cisgender, or cis.

What transgender means

If you’re a transgender woman:

• You know and feel yourself to be a woman (that’s your gender identity).

• You were assigned male at birth (that’s your sex).

Your gender is “on the other side as” the sex you were assigned at birth.

You’re transgender, or trans.

Gender beyond the binary is global

I grew up in the UK. I learned about gender as a binary: men versus women.

And from the way I saw gender represented in books, TV and movies, you’d think that binary gender ruled the world.

It doesn’t.

Gender beyond the binary isn’t new, and it’s not uniquely Western.

“Transgender people have existed across cultures and throughout history” say GLAAD. “What is new is the heightened awareness of gender diversity and the transgender community because of increased media attention in recent years.”

“Colonization oppressed gender and sexual minorities” says Brenna Miairia Kutch. “These are often treated as new-fangled "Western" identities but they are far older and more diverse. Unfortunately the reason there is so much violence and discrimination against LGBTQI+ people today is largely because colonisers created, enforced, and propagated these beliefs to oppress others for their own benefit.”

There’s the Chibados in what’s now Angola, kinnar/khwaja sira/hijra in South Asia, travesti in Latin America, māhū in Hawai’i and Tahiti, Two-Spirit among Indigenous communities in North America, and burrnesha in the Balkans.

There is so much gender diversity, and so much queer identity, around the world. If we only see the binary, we’re missing a world of joy, beauty and humanity.